Old Books

Yesterday a friend visited from my undergraduate university and we spent most of the day used book shopping. It was fabulous. She and I always enjoy book shopping and do it every time we get together. I had not yet visited any used book stores here in my Masters town, but I printed off directions to several and we only made it to two. I bought a few used, more recent historical fictions (because what historian can't get enough of those) and then I also bought a 1913 edition of The Education of Henry Adams and a copy of this fiction he wrote entitled Democracy about the dirty side of Washington politics (something I didn't even know he wrote). I'm very excited about these two buys. I feel that they are two very important pieces in American historiography; well at least the first, since I had never heard of the second haha).

The second bookstore we went to, however, had an annex of really old books. It smelled, it was musty and dusty, but I loved it. I found this beautiful edition of Frederick Jackson Turner from the 1800s and many other old beautiful books out of my price range. The Turner book wasn't bad, but I just couldn't justify purchasing it a this point. My friend and I always get really stoked looking at the old books, though. She found something she was really excited about and said "I feel that the owner should just be excited that we are this excited about these things and cut us a deal." I liked that, because I often feel that way, well, not the cutting us a deal part, but I often hope that people who own old books shops or anything historical really should just be excited that we are excited.

There is apparently some large Medieval Congress thing happening here this weekend and there is apparently a large book exhibit area. I may check that out today, but I'm not sure. I don't really need any monographs about medieval history, but if I could find cool medieval literature that would be different. I would probably be too tempted to purchase more books that I probably won't finish this summer and spend money that I don't have. This Congress will always be back next year :)

Summer '10

So, my semester ended successfully. My GPA remains intact and I then took a break to my home in a more northern area of Michigan. I spent a little over a week with dial-up internet and no cell phone service and I loved it. I loved be unconnected. I got online twice, called only my closest friends, one of whom was graduating from college and therefore celebrations were necessary. I saw family, had fun, and disconnected; three very necessary things in my life. I usually go home about once a month in order to do these things.

Well, this summer, as I said before hold a myriad of possibilities. I am learning French, have several fun books to read, several academic books in preparation for my thesis, and I just found out that I received a bit of last minute funding. I have my first TA gig, my first office, my first departmental mailbox. I am way more excited than I ought to be, I feel. This is my first summer completely on my own however. I have lived elsewhere for the summer before, but that was on Mackinac Island with 60 other girls in the same building as I, sharing the same kitchen and bathroom. Since my roomie here has a summer internship I am completely alone this summer and I am excited.

Aside from academic activities (yes I am calling reading fiction academic) I have several craft ideas to complete. I haver recently tapped into my crafting side and made myself a bag and two headbands. They turned out alright. I just finished cross-stitching a bookmark, which will be given to a friend and I'm excited for a new craft project. Today I bought a wicker basket to store craft things in. Right now there is one needle and the bookmark pattern in it, so it needs more. I think I'm going to make pin cushions (one for my bff who just graduated) because she started crafting about a year and half ago and I feel I owe her some sort of crafting inspiration. Crafting gives me a task, but one I don't think about too much and can complete while watching television or something. I'm very fidgety and it keeps my hands busy and my mind focused when, especially during television and movie time (which I love) when I have been getting restless.

In short, this summer ought to be great. I feel that my official grad school summer kick-off was tonight, followed by a friend visiting tomorrow and some used books shopping, and a low-key weekend. Hopefully it will be a productive, relaxing, and beneficial summer.

Almost There!

My last paper, the one I was killing myself over, is due Tuesday evening. I can't wait to have it out of my hands. I stayed up late Friday night to finish a draft, set it aside all day yesterday to enjoy a day of absolute nothing, and am now in the revision stage. After rereading the first few pages I am actually happy with it. My thesis is much, much clearer than I originally thought. I, once again, psyched myself out. It happens a lot.

I am extremely excited about this summer. I will be taking language courses all summer, in preparation for my thesis proposal. Additionally, reading a bunch of my TJ stuff and compiling a bibliography, reading a bunch of historical fictions I purchased over the semester in anticipation of the summer, enjoying my first summer in my grad school town, and playing softball. The end is SO near, I can smell it. It's good motivation, but also causes me to want to start it early. Boo papers.

Lessons from TJ

So, I love Thomas Jefferson. I have written many papers about him, read about him, read his papers, and he will be my thesis topic. I am slightly obsessed, I will admit that. Everybody I know, knows that. I have a big fat crush on TJ. Every now and again, I am able to apply something I found in his papers to my life and I just had this experience.

While in France, Jefferson fell in love with Maria Cosway, a married artist. There is no proof at all that anything aside from a deep friendship developed between the two, but when Maria went with her husband to England TJ was heartbroken and wrote his famous "Dialogue Between My Head and My Heart." In this his head is cursing his heart for causing him despair once more. The heart always makes him hurt and never learns not to grow close to people. The heart then accuses the head of avoiding relationships and sentiments. That the head has often kept TJ from helping others, due to its rationality, etc. The heart ends up victorious, but says there are times in which the head should prevail.

On to my life example of this in action. I was having a conversation with a friend and they said something about assessing their feelings before being able to realize if they really were upset about a situation. I then said that when you start trying to rationalize your feelings or assessing the situation, or talk yourself out of feeling a certain way, it's your head trying to alter the original emotion felt by the situation. Once that begins the feeling isn't true emotion, but rationalized emotion. I granted that this was necessary in order to live in society, because people couldn't run around acting out their true emotions all of the time.

I suppose I just enjoyed that it was halfway through this conversation that I realized I had internalized one of Jefferson's writings. You can totally tell I've been reading about his view of people and government and human nature haha.

P.S. On a completely unrelated sidenote....I watched Kick-Ass tonight and it was a very entertaining film. If you like to laugh, like super heroes, or like Nicholas Cage, you should see the film :)

Writer's Block

This semester I had two big research papers. The first was my historiography paper, regarding the historical interpretations of Samuel Adams. I turned that paper in on Tuesday and I feel like I pretty much rocked it out. I really enjoyed writing that paper and acquainting myself with over 200 years of Adams scholarship. My second project, which is due next Tuesday, is about Thomas Jefferson's reasons for joining the Revolutionary movement. All semester I have been reading Jefferson's papers and reporting weekly on what he was up to during the week's given years. I then gave a presentation on my argument. My professor and the class gave me some pointers on my argument and then I could begin going through secondary sources (which I had been banned from for over half of the semester) and put all of it into a paper. I know what I think and I know what I want to argue, but I have spent hours in front of my computer and have seven pages! That is all! Something just isn't happening and I'm not sure what. I have decided to skip ahead and begin working on his post-Declaration life and then come back to the first third, because maybe in writing the rest I will be able to better set it up and put forward his actual call for independence.

It's so incredibly frustrating to have all of the information before but to be unable to express your argument coherently. Even when I try explaining it to people I end up jumping all over. All of the pieces go together, but they are all slightly different. After so long I just want to push my computer off the table, or rip up my notes, or quit. I feel like a sixteen year old could have expressed my thoughts more eloquently. It's ridiculous! This is all I have to work on until Tuesday at 6:30, so it will get done and in the end I will probably be happy with it all, but right now I'm at my wits end! Geesh!

Fiction

Last night I watched The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus and it got me thinking about one of my favorite subjects; fiction. Everybody who knows me, knows that I enjoy stories of faraway places, dreamed up in the imaginations of brilliant authors. I like movies that involve imaginary worlds. I am a fan of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, the Narnia series, the Golden Compass, and this Doctor Parnassus movie touched on this topic. I like them for two reasons. 1) I enjoy escaping the woes of the real world and jumping into these make believe lands and 2) I am in awe when it comes to the minds that have worked ever so hard to create these lands, with new creatures, languages, histories, customs, etc. I love writing, but I could only dream of creating pieces as epic as these. Perhaps that is why I'm drawn to history. Although the stories involved do not contain house elves, centaurs, or a magic mirror that takes into a land based upon your own imagination, I do meet new characters, languages, customs, and beliefs. History is an escape and perhaps by writing it I can recreate a land, although not purely fiction, far different than any in existence today.

As a sidenote I urge everyone to watch The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. It was a fabulous film, filled with fabulous acting, amazing scenery and costumes, and a great story line. The characters were extremely well developed and the plot was anything but predictable. And it is the last film that poor Heath Ledger was part of. If you get the chance, watch it!

Why So Misplaced, You Ask?

This is something new I've decided to try. I've been journaling for some time and decided that perhaps my ideas are worth posting from time to time.

As a graduate student of history I often feel that I am misplaced in this current age. I sit with friends and they break out their iPhones and iPads and drool over the technological gadgets of the others and I don't get. I get the need for a cell phone and I get the need for a laptop, but I don't know why you need to carry your laptop with you in mini-form. I have a great appreciation for old items, such as art, books, films, and other antiques. The availability of one to pull up a book on an electronic gizmo lessens the effort the author put into creating every word, the ideas inherent not only in the words on the page, but in their reception. Additionally, the fact that people worship these pieces of technology and have never heard of Gericault, David, Delacroix, and Carravaggio is absurd. I just really don't understand. I truly feel as though I am misplaced in this time.